DeMar DeRozan is enjoying his summer of free agency
He may have broken the hearts of Lakers' fans everywhere when he opted out of free agency, but leading scorer DeMar DeRozan is relaxing in this summer's white hot free agency period, chilling on the beach in the City of Angels and letting his agent work out the details of his new contract - whether it's one that keeps him in purple and gold, or sees him playing elsewhere next season. "Thing is, I see a lot of money getting spent this summer," DeRozan said. "Money that probably won't be out there next year, so I'm like, why not go out and get mine now while the getting is good?" He also suggested that a return to the Lakers is a strong possibility, and that both sides are discussing a multi-year deal that will see him earn a pay increase on the 9.5 million a season of his previous deal.
But where the conversation took an interesting turn was when Doug McDermott's name came up. DeRozan laughed uproariously when the infamous sexting scandal came up in an interview (details of which can be found here: viewtopic.php?f=67&t=2191 .
"Man, he just had to go and deny I sent him that picture. Dude is so soft and so white, it's ridiculous. I mean, for real, he makes my boy Jimmer (Fredette) look like Lance (Stephenson). No offense Jimm, nothing but love, but dude knows he's white as hell, too. And I hear all this shit about people talking, saying that the Lakers need dude back. And I'm like on what? Have you even *seen* what he did in summer league? Boy trying to talk like he's this hot shot scorer, and his candy ass is shooting is averaging, what, 11 points, against a bunch of young buck scrubs. 11 damned points. Oh, and he talks shit about how he's this amazing shooter. What'd he shoot, like, 40%?" (Edit. Note: 46.7%, 44% from 3 point range, but that was largely influenced by a 7/8, 5/5 showing in Orlando's final summer league game. Outside of that game , his numbers were 37.8% and 30% from 3 point range).
"But it's worse than his Jello ass defense and overrated game. I wasn't here when dude was, but my boys tell me he acted just like a basic white girl. Drinking those pumpkin spice lattes, tramping around in Uggs in winter sayin they all comfortable and shit, talking about how he thought Marilyn Monroe was the prettiest chick he'd ever seen, and how Drake is the best rapper of all time - silly shit like that. Dude ain't even a dude. He's a prissy princess who doesn't even belong in this league. And people talking like the Lakers need him back. Man, get out of there with that mess."
Questioned just how he knows so much about basic white girl culture, DeRozan grinned.
"Because I fucked so many of them back at USC. The fuck you think man? This one girl I smashed a few times, she was like always watching or quoting that Mean Girls movie, and after a while I'm just like fine, I'll play along with this ish. I'd be like, 'Girl you can't make fetch happen, but you bet your sweet ass DeRoco is gonna happen. And then it'd happen like 10 times and shit, and she'd be all screaming, 'You go, DeMar DeRoco!" And I'd be like that's what's up. Go on and be obsessed with me and shit. Then she took that obsession shit seriously, so I had to break up with her. White girls, man. White girls."
After spending another 20 minutes giving an extended seminar on the many weak points of McDermott's defensive game, the highlights of which included, "He's so weak, that Korean guy (Edit. Note: Jong-Hyun Lee) could drop 50 on him," and, "The next time he legit steals a ball in a game, and not that fluke ass flappy hand shit he gets lucky with, I'll wear a damn UCLA hat at a press conference", DeRozan had one final parting shot for the player so many want back in the Staples Center:
2028
