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Kaleb T Drops An Album, And It's Fire!

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Jestor
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Kaleb T Drops An Album, And It's Fire!

Post by Jestor »

Another Popular Album Critics Hate
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Is Kaleb "Kaleb T" Tarczewski the next basketball rap star?

The streets of Los Angeles and the world of social media lit up today with the release of Los Angeles Lakers' center Kaleb Tarczewski's debut rap album, Birth of a Basketball Broski. Despite critics bashing what they called "uninspired rhymes", "uneven syllable lines", and "janky delivery more painful to listen to than a drunk sorority girl on karaoke night", the masses of Facebook and Twitter lavished praise on the unexpected drop. In the album, Kaleb T, as he styles his stage name (though he uses his full name in the titular track), ruminates on his sudden basketball popularity, the Arizona-Arizona State rivalry, takes potshots at some of the CSL's superstars, and writes Polish pride songs that some have compared to spoken word versions of Irish rebellion songs in their ethnic pride and longing for a more prestigious national past.

The opening track, which has the same name as the album, follows an AABBCCCDDDD repeated rime scheme, and an excerpt is provided below:

Yo, this is Kaleb Tarczewski
Hipsters lovin' me like a brewski
I'm stylin' in that gold and purple
Hot bitches my big Pole dick slurple
While I mad Purple Drank slizzurple
Durant he like his city - Portweird
Harden he got that mangy ass beard
My blocks - they be most right feared
So good - I must be bioengineered


Efforts to reach representatives of Kevin Durant and James Harden went unanswered at press time, but the album trended on Twitter and Facebook, iTune downloads reached the Top 25 on the daily charts, and numerous Tarczewski memes sprang up overnight. The Los Angeles Lakers organization declined to comment on the reaction or the release, and Kaleb T himself only smiled when asked to respond by reporters at the launch party.

Time will tell if this is a flash in the pan, or, like fans hope the CSL version Lakers will, ascend to unexpected heights.

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KW
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Re: Kaleb T Drops An Album, And It's Fire!

Post by KW »

Which does first? Kaleb's rap career or the Lakers' playoff hopes?

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andrei
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Re: Kaleb T Drops An Album, And It's Fire!

Post by andrei »

I'm not a professor of literature like Tim but the rhyme looks more like AABBBCCCC to me
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Jestor
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Re: Kaleb T Drops An Album, And It's Fire!

Post by Jestor »

andrei wrote:I'm not a professor of literature like Tim but the rhyme looks more like AABBBCCCC to me
Precisely. But, you know, journalism dead in the US and all that. :D

Jestor
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Re: Kaleb T Drops An Album, And It's Fire!

Post by Jestor »

BizGilwalker wrote:Which does first? Kaleb's rap career or the Lakers' playoff hopes?
Both at the same time!

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hardenwithnod
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Re: Kaleb T Drops An Album, And It's Fire!

Post by hardenwithnod »

I would buy his album.
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OneNole
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Re: Kaleb T Drops An Album, And It's Fire!

Post by OneNole »

Weird
FINALLY a logical HC Rule our work is done

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Re: Kaleb T Drops An Album, And It's Fire!

Post by lakeshowak7 »

A star is born, ladies and gentleman.

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drumr
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Re: Kaleb T Drops An Album, And It's Fire!

Post by drumr »

Jestor wrote:
andrei wrote:I'm not a professor of literature like Tim but the rhyme looks more like AABBBCCCC to me
Precisely. But, you know, journalism dead in the US and all that. :D
I lolled. It's true. Were so sad right now
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Re: Kaleb T Drops An Album, And It's Fire!

Post by donaldtrump666 »

FAKE NEWS.

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