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Ojeleye and Patton gelling, both on and off the court

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TheTwoWallaces
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Ojeleye and Patton gelling, both on and off the court

Post by TheTwoWallaces »

Indianapolis, Indiana

Rumors are circulating of a strange synergy developing between two Pacers, Semi Ojeleye and Justin Patton. Apparently, the two athletes just bought matching mansions on the same Indianapolis cul-de-sac. This, after signing matching max contracts this offseason, has unleashed a flurry of rumors surrounding the glitch in the matrix that created these near identical life trajectories. The parallels include:

-near identical ratings:
.................SCR PAS HDL ORB DRB DEF BLK DI
Patton: ..67 . 66 . 51 . 68 . 67 . 67 . 57 . 71
Ojeleye: 63 . 65 . 56 . 64 . 67 . 67 . 54 . 71

-24 years old
-play Forward
-signed 4 year, $58M contracts this offseason
-grew up in Nebraska/Kansas (which are both cornfields)
-put up 15 ppg, 7 rpg last season
-have the legit same hair style
-wear matching sneaker colors on gameday
-hate yellow skittles
-think godfather II is the best of the trilogy
-dont fuck with Michael Porter's weird cult-like beliefs

The similarities have apparently rubbed some players the wrong way, even leading to one individual to seek answers from the front office. Michael Porter Jr, a known conspiracy theorist, has begun to question whether the front office is planning to create a team of Cornfield Cyborgs. MPJ, who thought this was going to be his team, has apparently been in talks with the front office to get him out of Indiana before the franchise turns him into a third member of the Brotherhood of Corn. Whether this will actually amount to a trade remains to be seen.

In the meantime, Patton and Ojeleye continue to go about their offseason as normal, buying matching boats to take their beautiful, identical wives out onto Lake Michigan. When asked about the similarities, Justin and Semi put down their beers and responded in unison: "We are happy here in Indiana. Won't you join us?" Our reporter subsequently fled the scene and has been missing since.


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"We are happy here. Won't you join us?"

Some have begun to wonder whether the matching hairstyle is an homage to a bushel of corn, which has been elevated to near-deity status in the Pacer locker room. Frankly it's hard to blame them:
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2025-2026 Pacers
Payton | Alkins | Ojeleye | Patton | Mika

TWW Pacers history
2023/24: 25-57
2024/25: 40-42

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emplep7
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Re: Ojeleye and Patton gelling, both on and off the court

Post by emplep7 »

Hahahaha, this article legit had me laughing out loud.

I really like the big man depth you have and want one (if not more) of your forwards on the Pistons. Help a brother out and send one my way...
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Ocons
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Re: Ojeleye and Patton gelling, both on and off the court

Post by Ocons »

LOLOL. Good stuff man.

The only main difference I see is that Ojeleye should be in Utah.
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andrei
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Re: Ojeleye and Patton gelling, both on and off the court

Post by andrei »

Semi looks like such a superior athlete compared to Justin on this pick. How is he not able to get off the Boston bench - bully some dudes inside man, not just shoot threes.
So what do you expect when you draft Grabby McHolderson to play your right tackle?

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Marcos_Beck
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Re: Ojeleye and Patton gelling, both on and off the court

Post by Marcos_Beck »

Great, great article!

Those two guys are really similar, both can ball and are extremely important for Indy's future development!

I like Semi a lot, personally.
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KW
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Re: Ojeleye and Patton gelling, both on and off the court

Post by KW »

Really like both players in this engine. Interested to see what happens with Porter in that crowded but very talented frontcourt
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TheTwoWallaces
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Re: Ojeleye and Patton gelling, both on and off the court

Post by TheTwoWallaces »

andrei wrote: Wed Nov 18, 2020 5:16 pm Semi looks like such a superior athlete compared to Justin on this pick. How is he not able to get off the Boston bench - bully some dudes inside man, not just shoot threes.
Yea they honestly look nothing alike, that's the only difference that anyone has found between them. Ojeleye is friggin ripped
2025-2026 Pacers
Payton | Alkins | Ojeleye | Patton | Mika

TWW Pacers history
2023/24: 25-57
2024/25: 40-42

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